Texas vs. Australia 

A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation, where he meets an Aussie farmer and gets to talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field.

The Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large back home."

They walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle.

The Texan immediately says, "We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows back home."

The conversation has almost died, when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field.

He asks, "And what are those?"

The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers back home?"