Things a True Southerner Knows

• Armidillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
• Roadrunners don't say "Beep Beep".
• There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.
• There are 10,000 types of spiders. 10,001 live in Texas.
• Armidillos love to dig holes under tomato plants.
• Racoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are ripe.
• If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
• Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.
• There are valid reasons some people put constatine wire around their house.
• You cannot find a country road without a curve from corner to corner.
• A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.
• Texas has 5 seasons:
        Spring, Feb 16 to April 15
        Summer, April 16 to July 15 (temp 90 to 98 degrees)
        Super Summer, July 16 to Sept 10 (temp 100 to 115 degrees)
        Summer, Sept. 11 to Oct 1 (temp 90 to 98 degrees)
        Fall, Oct 2 to Dec. 1
        Winter Dec. 2 to Feb 15
        There is NO rainy season (or rain).
  
• The wind blows at 90 MPH from Oct. 2 until July 15, then it stops totally.
• Onced and Twiced are words.
• It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
• Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
• Graduating 1st in your class means you left in the 8th grade.
• Coldbeer is one word.
• People actually grow and eat Okra.
• Texans really don't have an accent.
• When the world ends, only cockroaches and mesquite trees will survive.
• Green grass DOES burn.
• When you live in the country, you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your gate in the middle of the night.
• The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first couple of weeks.
• When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to go to the doctor.
• Fixinto is one word.
• A tank is a dirt hole in the ground that holds water for irrigation.
• Backards and Forards means I know everything about you.
• You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is.
• You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
  
  
• The difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit.
• Pretty much how many fish make up a mess.
• What general direction catty-wampus is.
• That "gimme sugar" don't mean pass the sugar.
• When somebody's "fixin" to do something, it won't be long.
• The difference between Yankees and damn Yankees.
• How good a cold grape Nehi and cheese crackers are at a country store.
• What "Well, I swanne!" means.
• Ain't nobody's biscuits like Grandma's biscuits.
• A good dog is worth it's weight in gold.
• Real gravy don't come from the store.
• Where "by and by" is.
• How to handle their "pot likker."
• The difference between "pert near" and "a right far piece."
• Never go snipe hunting twice.
• What happens when you swallow tobacco juice.
• Never to assume that the other car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
• You may wear long sleeves, but you should always roll 'em up past the elbows.
• You should never loan your tools, pick-up, or gun to nobody.
• A belt serves a greater purpose than holding Daddy's pants up.
• Rocking chairs and swings are guaranteed stress relievers.