Things a True Southerner Knows
- Armidillos sleep in the middle
of the road with their feet in the air.
- Roadrunners don't say
"Beep Beep".
- There are 5,000 types of snakes
and 4,998 live in Texas.
- There are 10,000 types of
spiders. 10,001 live in Texas.
- Armidillos love to dig holes
under tomato plants.
- Racoons will test your crop of
melons and let you know when they are ripe.
- If it grows, it sticks; if it
crawls, it bites.
- Nothing will kill a mesquite
tree.
- There are valid reasons some
people put constatine wire around their house.
- You cannot find a country road
without a curve from corner to corner.
- A tractor is NOT an all-terrain
vehicle. They do get stuck.
- Texas has 5 seasons:
Spring, Feb 16 to April 15
Summer, April 16 to July 15 (temp 90 to 98
degrees)
Super Summer, July 16 to Sept 10 (temp 100 to
115 degrees)
Summer, Sept. 11 to Oct 1 (temp 90 to 98
degrees)
Fall, Oct 2 to Dec. 1
Winter Dec. 2 to Feb 15
There is NO rainy season (or rain).
- The wind blows at 90 MPH from
Oct. 2 until July 15, then it stops totally.
- Onced and Twiced are words.
- It is not a shopping cart, it
is a buggy.
- Fire ants consider your flesh
as a picnic.
- Graduating 1st in your class
means you left in the 8th grade.
- Coldbeer is one word.
- People actually grow and eat
Okra.
- Texans really don't have an
accent.
- When the world ends, only
cockroaches and mesquite trees will survive.
- Green grass DOES burn.
- When you live in the country,
you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your gate in the
middle of the night.
- The sound of coyotes howling at
night only sounds good for the first couple of weeks.
- When a buzzard sits on the
fence and stares at you, it's time to go to the doctor.
- Fixinto is one word.
- A tank is a dirt hole in the
ground that holds water for irrigation.
- Backards and Forards means I
know everything about you.
- You don't have to wear a watch
because it doesn't matter what time it is.
- You work until you're done or
it's too dark to see.
- The difference between a hissie
fit and a conniption fit.
- Pretty much how many fish make
up a mess.
- What general direction catty-wampus
is.
- That "gimme sugar"
don't mean pass the sugar.
- When somebody's "fixin"
to do something, it won't be long.
- The difference between Yankees
and damn Yankees.
- How good a cold grape Nehi and
cheese crackers are at a country store.
- What "Well, I swanne!"
means.
- Ain't nobody's biscuits like
Grandma's biscuits.
- A good dog is worth it's weight
in gold.
- Real gravy don't come from the
store.
- Where "by and by" is.
- How to handle their "pot
likker."
- The difference between
"pert near" and "a right far piece."
- Never go snipe hunting twice.
- What happens when you swallow
tobacco juice.
- Never to assume that the other
car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
- You may wear long sleeves, but
you should always roll 'em up past the elbows.
- You should never loan your
tools, pick-up, or gun to nobody.
- A belt serves a greater purpose
than holding Daddy's pants up.
- Rocking chairs and swings are
guaranteed stress relievers.